| Taoism |
Confucianism |
Buddism |
| Shit happens. |
Confucius says, "Shit Happens." |
If shit happens, it isn't really shit. |
| Islam |
Hinduism |
Mormon |
| If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. |
This shit happened before. |
This shit is going to happen again. |
| Zen |
Calvinism |
Catholicism |
- Shit is, and is not.
- What is the sound of shit happening?
|
Shit happens because you don't work hard enough. |
- Shit happens because you are bad.
- If shit happens, you deserve it
|
| Protestantism |
Judaism |
Stoicism |
|---|
| Let this shit happen to someone else. |
Why does this shit always happen to us? |
This shit is good for me. |
| Christian Science |
Seventh Day Adventist |
Hedonism |
|---|
| Shit is only in your imagination. |
No shit on Saturdays. |
There isn't anything like a good shit happening. |
| Moonies |
Hare Krishna |
Rastafarianism |
|---|
| Only happy shit happens. |
Shit happens rama rama. |
Let's smoke this shit. |
| Davidians |
Church of scientology |
Shinto |
|---|
| Let's shoot and burn our own shit. |
Of course, GOD created this shit. |
Chop the shit. |
| Eastern Russian Orthodox |
Agnostic |
Shaolin |
|---|
| Holy shit (no more communism!) |
Not sure about shit. |
Destroy bad shits with Kung Fu. |
| Existentialism |
Atheism |
Presbyterian |
|---|
| What is shit, anyway? |
What shit? |
This shit was bound to happen |
| Episcopalian |
Methodist |
Congregationalist and Unitarian |
|---|
| It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve theright wine with it |
It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it |
Shit that happens to one person is just as good shit as shit that happens to all other |
| Lutheran |
Fundamentalism |
Judaism |
|---|
| If shit happens, don't talk about it |
If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again (Amen!) |
Why does this shit always happens to us? |
| Creationism |
Secular Humanism |
Christian Science |
|---|
| God made all shit |
Shit evolves |
When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray |
| Quakers |
Unitarianism |
Utopianism |
|---|
| Let us not fight over this shit |
Come let us reason together about this shit |
This shit does not stink |
| Darwinism |
Capitalism |
Communism |
|---|
| This shit was once food |
That's my shit |
It's everybody's shit |
| Feminism |
Chauvanism |
Commercialism |
|---|
| Men are shit |
We may be shit, but you can't live without us... |
Let's package this shit |
| Impressionism |
Idolism |
Existentialism |
|---|
| From a distance, this shit looks like a garden |
Let's bronze this shit |
Shit doesn't happen, shit IS |
| Stoicism |
Hedonism |
Scientology |
|---|
| This shit is good for me |
There is nothing like a good shit happening! |
If shit happens, see "Dianetics" p.157 |
| Jehovah's Witnesses |
Zoroastrianism |
Practcial |
|---|
| Knock Knock. Shit happens |
Shit happens half of the time |
Deal with shit one day at a time |
| Satanism |
Nihilism |
|---|
| SNEPPAH TIHS |
No shit |