World Religions

Taoism Confucianism Buddism
Shit happens. Confucius says, "Shit Happens." If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Islam Hinduism Mormon
If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. This shit happened before. This shit is going to happen again.
Zen Calvinism Catholicism
  • Shit is, and is not.
  • What is the sound of shit happening?
Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
  • Shit happens because you are bad.
  • If shit happens, you deserve it
Protestantism Judaism Stoicism
Let this shit happen to someone else. Why does this shit always happen to us? This shit is good for me.
Christian Science Seventh Day Adventist Hedonism
Shit is only in your imagination. No shit on Saturdays. There isn't anything like a good shit happening.
Moonies Hare Krishna Rastafarianism
Only happy shit happens. Shit happens rama rama. Let's smoke this shit.
Davidians Church of scientology Shinto
Let's shoot and burn our own shit. Of course, GOD created this shit. Chop the shit.
Eastern Russian Orthodox Agnostic Shaolin
Holy shit (no more communism!) Not sure about shit. Destroy bad shits with Kung Fu.
Existentialism Atheism Presbyterian
What is shit, anyway? What shit? This shit was bound to happen
Episcopalian Methodist Congregationalist and Unitarian
It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve theright wine with it It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it Shit that happens to one person is just as good shit as shit that happens to all other
Lutheran Fundamentalism Judaism
If shit happens, don't talk about it If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again (Amen!) Why does this shit always happens to us?
Creationism Secular Humanism Christian Science
God made all shit Shit evolves When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray
Quakers Unitarianism Utopianism
Let us not fight over this shit Come let us reason together about this shit This shit does not stink
Darwinism Capitalism Communism
This shit was once food That's my shit It's everybody's shit
Feminism Chauvanism Commercialism
Men are shit We may be shit, but you can't live without us... Let's package this shit
Impressionism Idolism Existentialism
From a distance, this shit looks like a garden Let's bronze this shit Shit doesn't happen, shit IS
Stoicism Hedonism Scientology
This shit is good for me There is nothing like a good shit happening! If shit happens, see "Dianetics" p.157
Jehovah's Witnesses Zoroastrianism Practcial
Knock Knock. Shit happens Shit happens half of the time Deal with shit one day at a time
Satanism Nihilism